Captain's Log in ʕ ´ᴥ`ʔ
collegehumor:

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game
- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.

- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”

-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.

- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.

- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”
          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.

- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.
Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

collegehumor:

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.



- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”



-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.



- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.



- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”

          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.



- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.

Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

svrferblood:

me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?

fantastic-nonsense:

why-i-love-comics:

Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

written by Brian Buccallato
art by Werther Dell’Edera, Jorge Fornes, & Scott Hepburn

mazurga:

Water on the plains

ohgodwhoseroomsarethese:

somequeershit:

keep-calm-and-disney-on:

Or, “How You Know You Are In An Abusive Relationship 101”

My mom absolutely refused to let me see this movie and once I actually saw it, i saw why

That’s the most chilling possible comment on this post.

Moving Party! One last trip.

Moving Party! One last trip.

gatorbiscuits:

for as long as i can remember from the time we have been living in this house, this framed picture from a blue’s clues coloring book has been hung  on the side of a cabinet.  theres no name on the picture, i cant remember who colored it, who put it up there, but its never been moved. no one in my house questions it, i invite my friends over and they dont question it either. no one talks about this picture. no one touches this picture. i think if i asked my parents why its there they wouldnt know either. i walk by it at least 20 times a day. it stares at me while i sit at the dinner table. maybe its protecting our house from an evil force or maybe its a family heirloom that dates back before i was born. i dont know why we have this picture framed and hanging but its been there for at least 8 years.

gatorbiscuits:

for as long as i can remember from the time we have been living in this house, this framed picture from a blue’s clues coloring book has been hung on the side of a cabinet. theres no name on the picture, i cant remember who colored it, who put it up there, but its never been moved. no one in my house questions it, i invite my friends over and they dont question it either. no one talks about this picture. no one touches this picture. i think if i asked my parents why its there they wouldnt know either. i walk by it at least 20 times a day. it stares at me while i sit at the dinner table. maybe its protecting our house from an evil force or maybe its a family heirloom that dates back before i was born. i dont know why we have this picture framed and hanging but its been there for at least 8 years.

ca-hugs:

monkeysaysficus:

bornite:

Still want to play this.

I am both terrified, and intrigued


I always see games like this and go “Fuck yeah we should do this!” Then I remember all my friends are guys…

ca-hugs:

monkeysaysficus:

bornite:

Still want to play this.

I am both terrified, and intrigued

I always see games like this and go “Fuck yeah we should do this!”

Then I remember all my friends are guys…

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

permissiontogoafterhim:

[x]

SAMUEL L JACKSON IS WATCHING YOU

NO SPOILERS

terranova89:

pearl-nautilus:

Octopus playing card


oystercakes

terranova89:

pearl-nautilus:

Octopus playing card

oystercakes

in what fucking situation do you ever need this picture for

image

shes

nunderwater

i will piss on your sofa

thefingerfucker:

WE KILLED THE HEALTH INSPECTOR

thefingerfucker:

WE KILLED THE HEALTH INSPECTOR

sexhaver: